


Drabble Corner

by TempestHeart



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Angel Mating, Angst, Boss/Employee Relationship, Character Study, Crack, Crossover, Daddy Issues, Destiny, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gabriel is the Dragonborn, Gen, God - Freeform, Growing Up, Hallucifer, Hallucinations, Human AU, Hurt Sam, Hurt Sam Winchester, Kissing, Lawyers, M/M, Mating, Office Sex, Prostitution, Sam is his housecarl, Season 9 AU, Self Loathing, Skyrim AU, Soul Bond, Suicidal Sam, Suicide Attempt, Trans Character, Transgender, father/son relationship, revival
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-04-10
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:15:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1106688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TempestHeart/pseuds/TempestHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Herein be drabbles, short stuff to get myself to write more and to practice. Pairings, if any, varies, as do ratings. If anyone wants to request something, feel free.</p><p>Chapter 1: Sam is pretty sure he is straight - Gabriel is pretty sure that is not totally correct.<br/>Chapter 2: Transgender!Gabriel origin story with a dash of Sabriel at the end.<br/>Chapter 3: A late night conversation on Fathers and purpose between Sam and Gabriel.<br/>Chapter 4: Gabriel is Sam's boss. They have a nice time at the office.<br/>Chapter 5: Gabriel is brought back.<br/>Chapter 6: Angelic mates AU. Some humans are destined to be mated to angels.<br/>Chapter 7: Gabriel is the Dragonborn, Sam is his housecarl. Completely cracky Skyrim AU.<br/>Chapter 8: Sam has run away from everything and has started doing drugs and turning tricks. He still tries to save people.<br/>Chapter 9: Lucifer is not the only one Sam sees when he is hallucinating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sam/Gabriel. Sam is pretty sure he's straight. Gabriel's pretty sure that's not totally correct.
> 
> Inspired by this picture: https://31.media.tumblr.com/53ba5c47808e9f945b25450d10cc4e29/tumblr_mhghacUNyX1qiqy8mo1_500.gif

Sam hesitates when Gabriel pulls open his shirt.

"I’m not, you know, into dudes. Not really." He says and bites his lip.

Gabriel reaches up with his small hand and sooths Sam’s reddened lower lip. “Shh, just let me try. If you want me to stop, I’ll stop, okay?”

Sam nods slowly, but does not say anything. 

Slowly, ever so slowly, Gabriel peels of Sam’s shirt. His hands are warm and smooth as they travel along Sam’s back. Sam shivers and feels how goose bumps rises all over his back and chest. He feels heat pooling and how his blood runs hotter and how it runs downwards.

Gabriel’s voice is low and breathy when he speaks again. “You like it, don’t you?”

Sam feels the heat rising to his cheeks but he utters a hoarse “Yes.” He apparently is not as straight as he thought. But Gabriel is the only exception, he is certain. Gabriel with his golden eyes and taunting smirk.

Gabriel gently guides Sam’s body, so they are facing eachother. Then he stands on his tiptoes, leans in and devours Sam’s mouth.

They kiss like it is the end of the world, it is hot, it is messy and it is perfect. Sam has a brief moment of clarity, that no matter what happens, he never wants to kiss anyone else again. This electric feeling he gets when his tounge meets Gabriel's, he has never felt anything like it before.

Sam’s hands tangle in Gabriel’s sunny locks and he pulls the smaller boy against himself, desperate for contact and for evidence that Gabriel is just as affected as he is by this connection. 

Gabriel’s hardness is pressed up against Sams’s tigh, but he wants to feel it against his own. Sam pulls away from Gabriel and drops his arm so he can grab Gabriel’s thighs and then he hoists him up. Gabriel’s legs come around his middle, and then there is glorious friction. 

Afterwards, when they lie down on Gabriel’s bed, sated and sweating, Gabriel turns towards him with his usual smirk and says: "I knew you’d like it.”

Sam kisses the stupid smirk off of his face.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more of character study of transgendered Gabriel. There is Sabriel, but it is very light.

Gabriel remembered the time when he was seven and his dad was not at home and Michael made him wear a princess dress to a costume party. He had cried the whole time and insisted that he was not a girl. He wanted to be a pirate. Michael had told him to stop being difficult and act like a proper girl. Gabriel had hid in the closet during the whole party and cried. Michael had to come and get him early, and Gabriel would never forget how Michael had sneered that if he was not such a freak, Gabriel would have been able to stay for the whole time at the party and not be an embarrassment. 

When Gabriel turned five, he started insisting that he was a boy. His father and his brother tried to correct him, but to no avail. Gabriel was adamant he was a boy, not a girl. After the party when Gabriel was seven, his father decided to take him to a psychologist. What for, he was not really sure, but Chuck was a good man and a loving father, and he hated seeing his youngest child and only daughter upset. 

It did not take a long while for the psychologist to understand that Gabriel felt like a boy, no matter what he looked like on the outside. She recommended that Chuck and the rest of the family accept him for who he was, because Gabriel would never change. He was adamant he was a boy, and the psychologist agreed.  
Chuck was devastated. He really loved his little girl, and he really wanted her to be happy – just as she was, but if she felt like a boy, he would accept it. Even if it was hard, because his late wife had been so happy to have a girl after three boys.

Chuck’s heart almost broke when she came to him in his study and asked if he was disappointed in her, and wished that she was normal and like other girls. His sweet Mary was crying when she asked him if he was ashamed. At the sight of his crying and devastated child, Chuck’s resolve was strengthened. If his youngest child felt like a boy, he would be treated like one. 

Chuck asked if she had chosen a boy’s name. His son said he had not, not yet. Gabriel, Chuck said. That was the name that Becky had chosen for their youngest if he had been born a boy. When Chuck said that, the child’s eyes closed and the tears waned. A light smile touched his lips, and thus, Gabriel was born and Mary was no more. Chuck hugged his youngest son, and felt that he could not love Gabriel any more, no matter who he chose to be, he would always be Chuck’s bravest child. 

Far from all was so accepting. Gabriel’s three brothers were difficult. Raphael ignored him, Lucifer called him “it” and Michael insisted on calling him Mary. They were all teenagers, and were all ashamed of their little sister that still insisted that she was their little brother. Appearance and how others viewed them was more important than their smallest sibling’s feelings. It went on for months until Gabriel broke down when Chuck was away on a book signing tour and it was impossible to console him. It was Lucifer who broke, who could not stand to see his sister so unhappy. He found it difficult to understand his youngest sibling, but he realized that the only way Gabriel would be happy, was if he was accepted for who he was. So Lucifer embraced him and called him his brother – Gabriel’s smile was like seeing the sun rising. That night, after tucking Gabriel into bed, and calling him by his chosen name for the first time, Lucifer tore into his other brothers. He lectured them about acceptance and being brothers. Raphael and Michael resisted his lesson, but then he asked them what their father would want, and that hit a nerve. After that night, no one called Gabriel Mary anymore. And no one called him a girl at home. 

School was another story. Teachers refused to accept Gabriel’s name change, since it was not legally binding, other children taunted him and it was plain torture. Gabriel was bright, but either ignored or bullied. The pranks became a defense, a way to get attention apart from bullying and a different way to define himself, apart from the-girl-who-thinks-she-is-a-boy. Gabriel took happiness wherever he could find it. 

In high school, puberty hit him hard. When another kid had snidely remarked that Gabriel had to be the only boy in need of a bra, Gabriel had bolted. He had run straight home and refused to go back to school until he had gotten a binder. After that, things went back to normal. Well, as normal as it could be. Gabriel fell in love with a pretty girl and she told everyone who would listen that Gabriel, the disgusting freak, had confessed to her. Gabriel was resolved never to fall in love with anyone ever again.

His only solace was his little cousins. Castiel and Samandriel were almost eight years younger than Gabriel and very innocent. Their mother Anna, had always been very supportive of Gabriel, and when she realized how much he loved spending time with her children, she made Gabriel her designated babysitter and invited him to come over whenever he wanted to. The smaller kids adored him; he spoiled them rotten and did anything that they asked. It was wonderful, Castiel and Samandriel was like the little brothers he never had. But one day, Gabriel had a near heart attack. When Castiel and Samandriel came home from school, Samandriel was crying and Castiel was looking angry. When Gabriel hugged Samandriel and tried to soothe him, Castiel stayed back looking at him with suspicion. Then he got the story. Somehow, someone had realized their kinship with Gabriel and had taunted them and bullied them because they did not know what a freak their cousin was and how they too must be freaks, being related to that weird cousin of theirs. Gabriel wanted to cry, but kept it in. He explained to them that he might look like a girl on the outside, but that he felt like a boy on the inside, and that was what mattered. Samandriel sniffled and nodded like he understood. Castiel stared at his cousin for a long while before hugging him tightly. Gabriel hugged them both tight and tried not to weep from relief that they still accepted him. 

College meant freedom. Gabriel was sad to be so far away from his supportive father and sweet little cousins, but no one knew that he was different. He started hormone treatments and everyone knew him as Gabriel-the-trickster, not as a freak. It was freedom and happiness all rolled into one. 

He met the love of his life in the lecture hall. Sam was tall, taller than anyone else. His floppy long hair and warm brown eyes had Gabriel melting in two seconds flat. They became friends, then best friends and then Gabriel still hoped for something more. They grew closer and closer, and one day during one of their movie marathons, Sam kissed him out of the blue. 

Gabriel was on cloud nine for about two seconds before he pulled away from Sam. He had to tell the truth, he had to be honest with Sam. Sam, who was perfect and good in every way. He suspected it was the end of their friendship and the potential for an even deeper relationship. Sam surprised him. He said it did not matter, that he loved Gabriel for being Gabriel. That it was about hearts, not parts. Gabriel wanted to marry Sam right there. 

A handful of years later, he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting on my computer for a couple of weeks now, but it was not until today that I had time to edit it. I had input from friends who are transgendered so I hope I portrayed it in a believeable fashion


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late night discussion between Sam and Gabriel about family and purpose. 
> 
> No spoilers as such, but in my imagination it's set in an slightly AU reality in season 9. But, if you've watched season 6 and the beginning of 7 you should be good.

”I was never my Father’s favorite son.”

Sometimes Gabriel gets these moods. Sam thinks it must be difficult to be brought back to life and realize that your three closest brothers are all dead or gone. And it all happened while you yourself were dead. Sam sometimes thinks that Gabriel is the only archangel with real feelings. When Gabriel gets in these moods he has nowadays, Sam knows it is because he is grieving for his brothers. Sam cannot remember any of the other archangels express sadness over Gabriel’s death. Sometimes, Sam gets the horrible feeling that Gabriel loved his brothers a lot more than they loved him. 

“Yeah? Neither was I.” Sam says quietly. 

Gabriel hugs him tighter as they lay in Sam’s bed in the bunker. The hour is late, but Gabriel does not need sleep, and Sam wants to help him get through this melancholy mood he has gotten into. 

“Lucifer was Father’s favorite. We all knew it. Back then we didn’t know jealousy. Not like I do now.” Gabriel’s voice turns even quieter. 

“Dean was always dad’s perfect son. His soldier to command. I was the failure, the disappointment.” Sam says. He has not been thinking of his father for a long time, but just speaking about it makes old feelings of resentment, loneliness and rejection resurface. Sam loved his father, but just like with Gabriel and his brothers, he is pretty sure he loved his father more than his father loved him. Sam chuckles with self-deprecating laughter. “Dad would never have told me to kill Dean. Never. Yet he didn’t hesitate to tell Dean to kill me if he needed to.”

Gabriel hugs Sam harder than before. Normally Sam would complain, but it feels nice that Gabriel physically affirms his affection when they are talking like this. This is not something that Sam usually dwells on, and he definitely does not speak about it. 

“You know, I think your father loved you more than you think. I just think he never understood you.” Gabriel said quietly. 

“Yeah. People keep telling me that, and all I can think of is when he told me that if I walked out the door and went to Stanford, I shouldn’t bother to come back.” Sam says and he cannot stop the bitterness bleeding into his voice.

“He told you to never come back?” Gabriel says and Sam does not think he imagines the slight incredulous edge in Gabriel’s voice. “And you still went into hunting again because he disappeared?”

Sam nods. “Yes. No matter how he felt about me, and no matter how much he disliked me or didn’t understand me, he was still my dad.” Sam smiles a slight sad smile. “We Winchester are big on family, you know.”

There is an ebb in their conversation after that.

“You know, once I told you that you were like Lucifer.” Gabriel starts saying and then he hesitates. “But really, you’re a lot more like me.” Gabriel sighs and rolls on top of Sam. “Think about it. We both ran away from home, tried to reinvent ourselves. Tried to escape the family drama. Tried to prove that we could be something on our own. Eventually our pasts caught up to us, and destiny dealt us the same shitty cards it intended from the beginning.” Gabriel drops his head onto Sam’s chest and sighs again. 

“True.” Sam says. “And to be honest, I’d rather be like you than Lucifer. Even if destiny dealt us shitty cards.” Sam is so tired of being looked upon like he is an abomination, an affront to everything that is good and holy. Gabriel never makes him feel like he has failed, even if he has made mistakes. Gabriel makes Sam want to atone. To do what good and what is right. 

“I don’t know what Dad wanted me to do when he resurrected me. That’s why I’m jealous. That’s seriously an emotion I’ve never felt before. I’m literally one of the five-“ Gabriel pauses and swallows loudly. “-One of the two beings now I guess, that could do whatever he wants, but I have lost my purpose. Castiel seems to find it so easy, and all I can think is that I wish Dad was home again. So I knew if I was on the right path.” 

Sam does not really know what to say to that. He knows what it is like to feel lost, but he does not think he can really fathom how lost Gabriel is feeling.  


“For what it’s worth, I think God wants you do choose for yourself what you do. He might have brought you back, but you’re the one who makes the decisions.” Sam is not sure that he has told Gabriel the right thing, but he is convinced that God wants Gabriel to make his own choices.

Gabriel makes a discontent sound. “Probably. Free will sucks, you know?”

Sam snorts loudly. “Yeah, I know.”

They fall into comfortable silence after that. Sam feels his consciousness drift away and when he is at the edge of wakefulness, he feels Gabriel brush a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Sleep, Sammy. Angels are watching over you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lawyer!AU - But mostly unrepentant porn. Sam is sexed up by his sexy boss.
> 
> This is for LadyDrace, since she needed cheering up!

Sam has no idea how he ended up here. One minute he was filing this week’s final paperwork for his cases, the next he was underneath his admittedly gorgeous boss making out like it is going out of style. 

“You think too much, Winchester. Just go with it.” Gabriel nips at his neck and Sam cannot hold back an audible gasp. 

Gabriel pulls back and smirks at him. “That’s more like it, Sammy.”

San cannot help but smile back at Gabriel, and he lets his hands wander, smoothing over the warm planes of Gabriel’s back. Gabriel’s hands find the buttons on Sam’s shirt, and soon both of them are half naked. 

Sam’s patience is wearing thin, so he grabs Gabriel and lifts him onto his own desk. Papers, case files and pencils all land on the floor as Sam struggles with one hand to open Gabriel’s fly, and uses his other to keep Gabriel in place by holding onto his rear. 

Gabriel works a lot faster. He kisses Sam like he cannot get enough, and opens Sam’s pants in what feels like seconds. Gabriel’s patience seems to be wearing as thin as Sam’s, because as soon as he has loosened Sam’s pants, he shucks down both the pants and Sam’s underwear. Sam cannot help but moan as his member meets the cold air in Gabriel’s office.

Gabriel grabs him, and starts stroking in fast strokes that has Sam on the edge in second. His tries to get Gabriel’s pants off get more frantic, and when he finally manages, he manhandles Gabriel by lifting him off of the desk. He quickly rids Gabriel of both his pants and his boxers, and now they’re both gloriously naked. 

Sam moves to stand between Gabriel’s spread legs and Gabriel arches against him, creating the most delicious friction Sam has ever felt. They move against each other for a while, moaning and panting, before Sam pulls back from Gabriel’s delectable mouth and starts kissing his way down his neck, and then all the way down across his stomach.  


Gabriel’s moans and pants intensify when Sam gets closer to his dick. When Sam takes the head into his mouth, he does not expect the loud keening sound that Gabriel lets out. It makes Sam’s blood boil and he grabs himself and strokes in time with his movements. 

Gabriel tenses and gasps; and he is beautiful. Sweat is gathering on his chest and his brow and his body goes even tenser than before. He tries to speak and his hands grab Sam’s hair as he tries to pull him off. Sam just sucks harder and Gabriel’s body goes taut as he releases into Sam’s mouth. 

Sam cannot hold back his own climax at the sight of Gabriel coming undone and he paints the office floor with his release. Gabriel slides down from the desk with a tired giggle. Then he kisses Sam gently on the nose. 

“Sammy. You’re coming home with me so we can do that again. Preferably on a bed next time.”  
Sam just laughs, hugs Gabriel and nods his agreement into Gabriel’s sweaty shoulder.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is brought back.
> 
> Spoiler up to season 9. I would recommend not reading until you're all caught up to episode 11 of season 9, even if there are no outright spoilers.

When Gabriel comes to, he gasps as if he just broke the surface of water after almost drowning. He gasps after breath and the heart of his vessel beats loudly like drums in his ears. Slowly he calms down and looks upwards. He is lying on his back in a dark hotel. Elysian Fields, his mind whispers. He distinctly remembers being impaled with his own angel blade and feeling his essence scattering. Slowly, he sits up and comes face to face with about the last person he expected to ever see again.

His Father smiles at him. God is in the shape of the prophet Chuck and suddenly it all makes sense. His Father had been hiding in plain sight this whole time.

“Dad.” Gabriel’s voice is raspy as if long unused and heavy with tears and confusion. 

God smiles and falls to his knees in front of Gabriel. “Gabriel.” He reaches for Gabriel who is powerless to do anything but to fall against him and hug his long absent Father hard and cry. God just hugs Gabriel until his tears wane.

When Gabriel stops crying he leans back from his Father’s embrace. “Why did you bring me back?” He looks at his hands. “I’m not really your poster boy or the one you should return.” He is ashamed of his choices, even if he has good reasons for them.

God takes Gabriel’s hand. “You’re wrong Gabriel. I love you.” 

Gabriel’s heart sings and he cannot help but look up and into his Father’s face and see His smile. “I love you too, Dad.” 

“I know.” God clasps Gabriel’s hand tighter and his smile fades. “I brought you back, because you’re the only one of my four first that truly loves humanity.” God takes a breath and looks as if he feels all the eons that have passed by since the Beginning. “I’m sad to say Gabriel, that your three most beloved brothers are all lost.” 

Gabriel gasps. “A-all of them?” 

God nods sadly. “Yes. Michael and Lucifer are in the Cage. The Winchesters followed your plan and succeeded.” 

Gabriel swallows and nods. He had not wanted that, but it is better than his brothers being dead. “What about Raphael?”

“He is dead.” God said with a sad smile. “I elevated Castiel and there was a war in Heaven. Raphael was trying to start the Apocalypse again. Castiel warred against him and won.” God looks even sadder. “At great cost for both angels and humanity.”

Gabriel feels his tears rise again, against his will. He has lost his three most beloved siblings and he is not sure how he will cope. 

“Gabriel, much has happened when you have been gone.” God holds on to his beloved son. “You need to act and unite your siblings.”

“I will do anything, Dad.” Gabriel pauses. “Except kill my siblings.” He looks away from God, knowing he really does not have the right to forbid God from ordering him do something.

God looks sad. “I won’t order you to, Gabriel. But some of your siblings might make it necessary.” 

Gabriel looks down and hangs his head. “All right. But I’m not sure I can do it.” 

“You should go to the Winchesters and Castiel.” God said. “They will tell you what has transpired.” God lifted his hand and laid his fingers against Gabriel’s forehead. “I will show you too, but you need to work with Castiel and the Winchesters. I will listen to your prayers, but I will not intervene.” God smiles at him. “I have confidence in your abilities to unite your siblings and right what is wrong.” 

“Okay, Dad.” Gabriel closes his eyes at the onslaught of God’s memories of what has happened. When he opens his eyes, he is alone in the room. The knowledge God has imparted on his is at the forefront of his mind. He sighs and closes his eyes, when he opens them, he is standing outside the Winchester’s hiding place. He closes his eyes and sighs at the inevitable confusion, anger and yelling he is about to endure. He is not sure how he will cope with seeing Castiel again. He is not sure how he can go on as the only archangel and how he is going to unite his warring siblings. 

A part of him is tempted to run away again, but God has spoken to him, and even if the world has gone to shit in his absence, Gabriel loves his Father and his siblings and all these stupid humans and he will once again protect them all to his dying breath. 

He opens the door to the bunker and a small smile flits over his face. 

“Oh, boys, I’m hooo-ooome!”

The screams and swearing coming from the lower levels of the bunker almost has him snickering but at the moment his emotions are all too raw to laugh so he just smile slightly again. When Sam and Castiel comes out in the foyer and Castiel looks at him with awe and Sam looks like he is about to fall over and die, Gabriel cannot hold back a laugh. He does not really know what he is laughing about, but he has the feeling that no matter what he feels now, how much he resents Castiel for killing his brothers and sisters – everything is going to work out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angelic/human mating AU. Some humans are destined for an eternity of love with an angel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what this is, I'm sorry. I just had an idea and went with it. I'd like to have written the whole universe a lot longer and detalied but I have thesis paper to finish.

Sam was a romantic at heart, but he was under no illusion that he could ever be the destined mate of an angel. Ever since he was little, Sam’s family had been famous for being a potential bloodline for angelic mates. Apparently, there had been ten angelic mates in the almost eight hundred year history of the Winchester family. That was one of the highest numbers of angelic mates in the same family in the entire world, which had made the Winchesters very famous. Being an angelic mate meant that you were destined for an eternity of happiness and love with an angel. If a person was an angelic mate, that person would never hold an interest in anyone except their angel.

When Sam and Dean were little, their parents had taken them to a psychic, to see if the Winchester blood in them was strong. Dean was declared to be the heir apparent to the Winchester line, as the blood of the Winchester family ran strong in him. Sam, on the other hand, was instead declared the heir apparent of his mother’s family, the Campbells. The psychic declared the Winchester blood to be almost non-existent in him; instead he was purely a Campbell. That meant that his chances of having an angelic mate were almost non-existent. There had only been one angelic mate in the history of the Campbell family and that was several hundred years ago. Normally a union between such a family as the Campbells and the Winchesters would be unthinkable, but John Winchester had always done things his own way, and when he fell in love with Mary Campbell, no one could stop him from marrying her. 

When Dean was declared to be strong in the Winchester blood, the rest of the Winchester family accepted that John’s choice of wife had not diluted the blood line. When it came to Sam, they looked upon him with disinterest, as he was extremely unlikely to ever be important to them. Sam learned to live with that. 

Sam sometimes would be jealous of Dean’s position in the Winchester family, and the way their relatives treated him like royalty. But he could never be mad at Dean, because Dean loved Sam more than anything and they were very close. Dean hated when their relatives treated Sam like he did not matter, just because Sam would never be mated to an angel. There was no certainty that Dean would be mated to one either, so he did not understand people’s obsession with his blood and heritage.

As Sam got older things got harder. Mary died when Sam was seventeen and the friction between John and Sam grew. Sam and John were very different and every time Sam did something that John would not approve of, John blamed it on his Campbell blood. Sam felt that he was judged unfairly for something he could not help or change. 

When Stanford offered Sam a full ride, Sam did not hesitate to accept. Even when his father told him that if he walked out the door, he would not be welcomed back. Sam hugged his big brother goodbye with promises to stay in touch and then he turned his back on the rest Winchesters. 

After he walked out on his family, he almost changed his last name to Campbell, just to spite his father and his family. But sometimes the Winchester name was useful for opening doors, so Sam figured he could live with it.

When Sam turned twenty two and he had scored an interview for Stanford Law School, everything changed. Sam had bought take out to celebrate by his lonesome, since there was no one else to join him. Dean had cheered over the phone and that was as close to his brother as Sam was going to get. Still, he was glad that at least Dean was supportive of him. 

As he locked the door to his apartment and stepped into the kitchen, a bright light exploded from the living room. Sam shielded his eyes with his arm until the light died down, and then he hesitantly stepped into the living room. 

Sitting in Sam’s favorite armchair was an angel. Sam knew this angel. Everybody did. It was the Messenger. The archangel Gabriel. The one who visited all the angelic mates to inform them that their mate was waiting for them. Gabriel was very handsome, he had golden hair and he radiated power, even just sitting there in Sam’s living room. His eyes were warm, like the color of whiskey in the sunshine. His three pair of golden wings were huge, even if they were folded tight against his body to fit in Sam’s tiny living room.

Sam gasped. Somehow he had not expected Gabriel to be so short. He had not expected him to chew on a Snicker bar either. “Um… hi?” Sam felt like an idiot. The archangel Gabriel would probably smite him for not bowing to him. 

“Nah, I won’t. Never was big on that show of deference thing.” Gabriel said, still chewing on his Snickers. 

Sam was dumbfounded. “What?”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I can hear you thinking, Sasquatch. I’m not gonna smite you for not bowing to me. Trust me, that gets old after a few billion years. I prefer to just talk.” 

“Oh. Okay.” Sam was still not sure what the archangel Gabriel was doing in his apartment. Gabriel smirked as if he had heard Sam’s thoughts but he seemed content to just eat his Snickers for the moment. 

“Sit down, Gigantor. I’m going to get a crick in the neck if I’m gonna have to keep looking up at you.” Gabriel kept smirking at him. 

Sam sat down on the edge of his ratty couch. He guiltily looked around his living room that he probably had not tidied in a month. Books and papers were scattered everywhere and Sam wondered if Gabriel had ever felt more underwhelmed.

Gabriel snorted. “Yeah, I have. Do you know what poor people’s houses looked like in the 13th century? Man, talk about underwhelming. Stop worrying so much, Sammy.” Gabriel snapped and the Snickers bar disappeared. 

“So,” Gabriel arched an eyebrow. “Aren’t you interested to know why I’m here?” 

“Yeah. I think you have the wrong place, though. My brother is in Lawrence, Kansas.” Sam said and looked down at the carpet. Gabriel had to be looking for Dean because Sam was not the one with the right bloodline for mating. When Gabriel did not say anything, Sam looked up again.

Gabriel was staring intently at him, and then he abruptly started laughing. Gabriel laughed until he had tears in his eyes, and Sam had no idea what was so funny. Sam got more and more embarrassed as Gabriel seemed to be unable to stop laughing. Finally, after several minutes he got himself somewhat under control.

“Oh, man Sammy! I think that’s the first time anyone ever has said that I’m in the wrong place. Usually I can’t even eat my candy before they ask about their mate.” Gabriel smirked. 

“Uh, I’m sorry. It’s just-“ Sam started before Gabriel interrupted him with an impatient gesture.

“I know, the Winchesters have their bloodline that’s great for finding angelic mates, yadayadayada.” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Stupid humans, I’ve tried to explain again and again that it’s not the blood that’s important, it’s the soul. Blood dry out, the soul is eternal. It’s true that a higher number of Winchester’s have had exceptionally awesome souls, but that’s mainly because my Dad apparently like you guys.” Gabriel smiled gentler than he had before. “So Sammy, I know I have the right house and the right guy. Now – do you want to know who your mate is?” 

Sam looked at Gabriel in wonder. So blood was not important to angels or to God. Funny, as his blood has been Sam’s problem all his life. Sam smiled back at Gabriel. “Yeah, I wanna know.”

Gabriel stood up and stepped in front of Sam where he was sitting on the couch. The he did something Sam never thought he would see an archangel do. He kneeled before Sam and then he took Sam’s hands into his own. Smiling, he looked up at Sam’s stunned face. “I’m your mate, Sam. I’ve been waiting since the Beginning for you.” 

Sam’s thoughts were a roller coaster of emotions and confusion.

Holy shit-

“Trust me, there’s nothing holy about shit.” Gabriel said and grinned.

Sam was the mate of an archangel, was that even possible-

“Yep, it is. You’re the first though. Imagine my older brothers’ despair when I got one first. I loved the look on their faces. Raphael looked even more constipated than usual, and let me tell you, that’s something.” 

What would his family say-

Gabriel snorted, but then his amused face turned serious. “Nothing except congratulations if they don’t wanna end up on my bad side.” 

What would Dean say-

“Not much, you brother isn’t such a stick-in-the-mud like the rest of your family. And I was gonna ease his mind by giving him his mate, so I think he’ll be pretty busy not caring about what you do.” 

Sam’s mental train ride skidded to a halt. “Dean has an angelic mate?” 

Gabriel nodded. “Yeah. Technically I’m not supposed to tell anyone before I tell him but I figure what the heck, I can bend the rules when it comes to my mate.” He grinned at Sam.

The whole thing was just too much so Sam did the only sensible thing he could think of. He leaned forward and kissed Gabriel. There was a loud snap resounding in his head when his lips met Gabriel’s. Sam pulled back slightly and looked at Gabriel. “What was-“

“The bond just slid in to place, Sammy. Now your ass is mine. And what a lovely ass that is.” 

Sam snorted. “Well, as long as your ass is mine.” 

Gabriel nodded. “Yes, it is.” His eyes softened and his smile went soft. “For eternity.” 

Sam felt warmth rush though his entire being at Gabriel’s words. He scooped up Gabriel, mindful of his wings and hugged him tightly.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel is the Dragonborn, Sam is his housecarl. Completely cracky Skyrim crossover.
> 
> If you don't know anything about Skyrim, this sadly won't make a lick of sense. It might not even if you've played the game.

Sam had no idea who of the Nine (or Eight) he had angered to get stuck as Gabriel’s housecarl. At first he had been elated when the Jarl had assigned him to the Dragonborn, but he realized pretty quickly that Gabriel was nothing but condensed trouble. 

The first issue was that Gabriel was not even a Nord, he was a Breton. A tiny Breton mage who managed to pick a fight with every damn idiot in all of the holds of Skyrim. The number of heads Sam had bashed in with his broadsword since he was assigned to Gabriel was easily in the hundreds. Soon Sam got a reputation for bashing heads and being violent. Sam protested those rumors, he was not the one who set people on fire while cackling with glee. 

The second problem with Gabriel was that he loved poking around ruins and poking the undead. If Sam never saw another Draugr, it would be too soon. Gabriel just ran around, happily exploring whatever old dusty tomb they found themselves in and when the Draugr turned up, he laughed in delight before setting them on fire. Sam wondered silently if being insane was a requirement for being the Dragonborn or if Gabriel was just special. 

The third problem with Gabriel was that he always chose the most inopportune moments to demonstrate or try out his Thu’um. In the middle of the Reach where Forsworn could swoop down any minute or during the early morning hours when Sam was sleeping was so not okay.

The fourth issue was Gabriel’s total fascination for all the Dwemer ruins he could find. Sam had lost count of the number of time he had almost been impaled by a Dwemer contraption and Gabriel had looked at him guiltily and said “Oops”. Gabriel fancied himself some sort of scientist, but Sam knew better. Gabriel was just an accident waiting to happen.

The fifth problem was not even remotely funny. Those damned dragons. Sam swore that the things had a sixth sense for whenever he and Gabriel absolutely did not want to deal with them. Like when they were sleeping at an inn. In their underwear. Fighting dragons in your underpants was just mortifying. Well, Sam thought it was. Gabriel had just breezily remarked that it was a refreshing change. He would, since he could magic up his own armor. Sam on the other hand got a lot more bruises and cuts as souvenirs when he had to fight dragons in his underpants.

The sixth problem was that no matter how insane or unattainable Gabriel was, Sam was still hopelessly in love with him. If he had not been, he would have thrown himself off a cliff months ago. Despite all his flaws, Gabriel was sweet. He could not avoid helping out people in need, and he went out of his way to keep people happy and content. Sam admired that. He admired it so much that he got all warm every time Gabriel said “Of course, I’ll help”. As if fighting dragons in his underpants was not enough, now Sam also got aroused at the most idiotic moments. Like when Gabriel helped little old ladies. He did not want anyone to draw the wrong conclusions from that. Really. That would be awful.  
  
Turns out, Gabriel was not such an idiot when it came to feelings. Which came as a total surprise, considering he acted like an idiot most of the time. After they (well, mostly Gabriel) saved the world, Gabriel smirked at Sam, called him an idiot and kissed the living daylights out of him. Sam could live with that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is lower than the lowest, but he can't help but trying to save people anyway.
> 
> Warning for drug abuse and prostitution and allusions to suicide attempts.

Turning tricks is not what Sam expected to be doing with his life. He hates it, he really does. But when the craving for demon blood becomes too strong, when Sam feels the darkness in him is overshadowing what is left of the good parts, Sam needs relief. Heroin provides that. But it does not come cheap. There are no other jobs he can hold down with the drug habit he has nowadays. And if he is high when seeing his clients, it tends to make it easier to forget. It makes it easier to deal with everything. The self-loathing, the guilt and the darkness within. 

After Dean and he split up, Sam tries a normal life. He cannot even manage that without putting other people in danger. He shivers in shame every time he remembers the bar. He tosses his phone, collects what little cash he had made and buys a one way ticket to New York. He tries hustling pool and pickpocketing; he even plays poker to collect cash. After getting hooked on drugs, he turns to prostitution. No legal ways of earning money will work. Someone will find him. Someone will hurt other people if Sam is near. Sam is not afraid for his own sake. Sam has given up on himself a long time ago, now. His own brother is even done trying to save him; Sam knows that message by heart even if he no longer has his phone.

Sam is under no illusion that he is not a monster. He knows he deserves every bit of pain and suffering that is coming his way. He cannot sleep unless he is high. Lucifer cannot penetrate his dreams when Sam is drugged up beyond recognition. There is no relief in his existence. Lucifer has told him that suicide is not an option. Sam has tried. He never dies. Not even from a bullet to the brain. Sam thinks that he does not deserve the peace one might find in death.

Today is an awful day. He is shaking from withdrawal, he needs his fix. There are too few customers lately. Sam supposes it is not really a problem. If he starves, he still cannot die. He might even deserve that. Starving to death, but never dying. 

Sam has no idea what day it is anymore. He does not care. The world has not yet ended, so he assumes Dean is still fighting. Lucifer does not have his vessel at least. Sam privately thinks that Lucifer might not want him anymore now that his body is filthy, violated and raw. Sam is poisoning it, he is selling it, giving away a piece of it every time he is with someone.

…

Sam might not care about himself or his own body anymore, but he still cares about other people. When a pack of werewolves starts killing the residents in the area where he usually works, he knows he has to do something. Even strung out and high as a kite, Sam has an innate sense of right and wrong. He is wrong, all of him is, but he knows that innocent people never should suffer. So, for the first time in God knows how long, he hunts. He still has some stuff, like silver bullets and a silver knife. He gets a little hurt, but he manages to take down two of the werewolves by himself. He guesses that there are at least two more. 

When he finds them in an abandoned warehouse, he also finds someone else. He has no idea how long ago it was he laid eyes on his brother and Bobby. He thinks it is at least a year, maybe two. Sam is perpetually high these days if he can manage it, so his sense of time is screwed up. 

Sam hopes they will not recognize him. They take out the werewolves together without speaking or introducing themselves, and Sam is about to leave when Dean tells him bye.  
Then Sam makes one of the greatest mistakes of his life, not counting betraying his brother, drinking demon blood and freeing Lucifer. “Bye Dean.” 

The three hunters collectively freeze. Before Sam can run off, Dean grabs him faster than lightning.

“Sam?!” Dean says, disbelieving. Sam gets him, he really do. Sam might have been muscular before, now he is skin and bones. His hair is dark and matted, greasy in a way that the Sam of old never would have allowed to become. His face is sunken in and gaunt. He also dresses differently, tight jeans that show off his ass and t-shirts that are almost see through from too many washes. No plaid shirts in sight. 

Sam is resigned; he nods at Dean’s question. “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s pretend that didn’t happen. I’ll be on my way now.”

“Wait!” Dean says and grabs onto Sam’s arm. 

Sam sighs. “Look. You can’t kill me. Believe me, I’ve tried. He just brings me back. So, just… let me leave, Dean. I promise you won’t have to see me again.” 

Bobby makes a sound like a gasp in the background at that. Dean looks like he might cry. Sam is confused. He knows he is an abomination that no one wants around. He knows he is the universe’s biggest fuck up. 

“Sam, don’t leave. Please!” Dean says, there is a desperate edge in his voice.

“Why?” Sam is honestly confused. 

“Dammit, Sammy!” Dean says. “I’ve been looking all over for you for over a year.”

“Why?” Sam can honestly not fathom why his brother would be looking for him, if it was not for hunting him and killing him like the monster he is. 

There are tears in Dean’s eyes. “Son of a bitch! Sam, you’re my brother! You shouldn’t be out there on your own. I promised I’d take care of you!” 

“Son,” Bobby says. “We’ve been so worried. Just… come home with us.” 

Sam shrugs. “Well, I can take care of myself. Don’t worry.” 

“Don’t worry?” Dean says; disbelief evident in both his voice and posture. “You’re looking like you haven’t eaten in weeks!”

Sam rolls his eyes, feeling familiar irritation. “Being high tends to make you forget food.” 

He sees the pain and pity on both their faces. “Stop looking at me like that. Just leave me alone. Go on, save the world. I’m not gonna say yes to Lucifer, so stop worrying about it.” 

Dean mutters under his breath. “Dammit, Sammy!” Then he punches his brother in the face, letting him fall unconscious to the floor.

“I’m gonna call Cas, Bobby. Bring the Impala ‘round the front.” 

Bobby just nods and leaves the warehouse without another word.

Dean sits down on the floor, cradling his brother’s unconscious form. “Sammy… what the fuck have you done to yourself?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam doesn't just hallucinate Lucifer. Spoilers for season 7.
> 
> Inspired by this Tumblr post: http://trekkiel.tumblr.com/post/80901796009/imagine-while-sam-is-hallucinating-lucifer-he

”Sam…” Gabriel’s hurt expression and his whole body disintegrated like a mirage fading in the desert. Sam gasped and pulled his hand back as if burnt. The air was empty in front of him. Not a trace of the shorter archangel remained. 

“Oh, Sam… he’s not real.” Lucifer looked at Sam like he pitied him. Sam knew it was fake. Lucifer never pitied humans. “Poor you. Two archangels in your head. And the one of them you like the most, he’s the one who’s really dead.”

Sam held his fingers on the wound in his hand as hard could, willing Lucifer to go away. Taking all his tricks with him. 

“Now, now Sam. I’ll always come back. See you soon!” The devil disappeared with a jaunty wave. 

Sam curled in on himself, praying to whoever out there that there would be an end to this torment.

…

It got worse. He saw Gabriel everywhere. Accusing, hurt and sad. Sam pressed his eyes shut at every reminder his presence. He reopened the wound in his hand just to keep check of reality. A traitorous part of himself wanted the hallucination of Gabriel to be there, to always be there when he opened his eyes. Being tormented by Satan was a small price to pay just to see Gabriel every day. 

“Sam… that’s not gonna help you anymore.” Lucifer said with a satisfied air. “And when it doesn’t we’ll have sooo much fun together. You, me and Gabriel. Little brother is so good with getting you to feel that patented Winchester angst, isn’t he?”

Gabriel’s sad appearance was once again in front of him. 

“Sam…?” Gabriel’s golden eyes were dulled and gloomy as he reached out for Sam like he had done the first time Sam had hallucinated him.

Sam put the heels of his hands over his eyes and refused to look at the hallucination. “You’re not real.” 

“That depends on your point of view, doesn’t it?” Lucifer said cheerfully. “In your head, he’s very, very real.”

…

Sam woke with a start. He was not alone in bed. Gabriel was snoring peacefully, curled up to Sam’s side. Sam enjoyed the feeling for a moment and tried to pull Gabriel closer to himself. His bed companion dissipated into the thin air as soon as he moved. Sam gasped and almost fell out of bed in fright.

“Shit…” Sam swore to himself. The tears burned in his eyes. It had all felt so real for one moment, it had felt just like it did before. The tears started running down his face, he sobbed loudly and tried to get himself under control, but it was useless. He was running on too little sleep and too much emotional turmoil.

“Sam… what’s wrong? I haven’t seen you smile all day.” Sam clenched his eyes shut, he refused to look at Gabriel’s image, standing beside him in concern. 

“Aww, are you having difficulties Sam?” 

The appearance of the devil did not surprise Sam, but it also made him cry harder. The devil in his head was just another reminder that the Gabriel beside him was nothing but an image in his mind. The real one was scattered in an infinite amount of pieces all across the universe. 

He decided to not tell Dean. Gabriel was his secret. His loss. His reminder.

…

The wound stopped working. The hours Sam had been awake reached critical levels. Lucifer sang, talked and irritated him. Gabriel called for him, asked him why he would not answer him and always looked sad. His face always looked as it did when they left him after TV-land. Sad and angry. 

“Sam, why won’t you talk to me?” Gabriel asked with curiosity in his voice.

Sam snapped. “Dammit!” He cried, tears building in his eyes. “I want to! I want you to come back to me!” 

He turned to Lucifer. “Bring him back!” He sobbed. “Please… just bring him back!”

Lucifer laughed. “Oh, Sam. I can’t. Because he is DEAD!” Lucifer yelled loudly. 

Sam cried in anguish and pain.

…

They tried to sedate him, but it did not work. Sam knew why. It was difficult to fall asleep when the devil reenacted exactly how he killed your lover, over and over again. Sam could never look away from the utter betrayal and shock on Gabriel’s face when Lucifer put his blade through him. 

“Sam, you made me kill my brother.”

Sam shook his head in denial. “No, you did that all by yourself.”

“Sam, Sam, Sam. Do you honestly think my little brother would have lifted a finger if it wasn’t for you?” Lucifer looked at him with pity again.

“Yes! Because he was a good person!” Sam yelled. “He was the best of all you. He was the only one of you who didn’t deserve to die! He was the only one who truly cared!” 

Lucifer laughed. “Oh, he deserved it, Sam. And you ensured that he got what he deserved.” 

…

Every morning, Gabriel would appear beside him in bed. Sam was not sleeping, but Gabriel still appeared to be. He loved those moments. Even when he knew that it was not real, that it was all in his head, it was still a comfort. A memory of a time that seemed so long gone now that it felt like ancient history. 

Gabriel’s sleeping form would always dissipate like a mirage as soon as Lucifer wanted to play with him but Sam still enjoyed those brief stolen moments of what once was. Those times, he could still pretend. He could still hope.

…

“I should have never broken your wall, Sam. I’m here to fix it.” 

Sam tried to laugh but he was too tired to actually make it. “You’re not real. You can’t even bring him back. You can’t fix me.” Sam sobbed. “You don’t want to fix me.”

Castiel furrowed his brow and tilted his head in confusion. He placed a hand on Sam’s forehead and looked even more confused. 

“So, can you fix him?” Dean asked impatiently.

Castiel shook his head. “No, I can’t.”

Dean looked angry. “What the hell do you mean you can’t?” 

Castiel sighed. “I mean, there’s nothing left to rebuild. The wall crumbled, the pieces are crushed to dust because of what’s happening inside his head right now.”

Dean’s brow furrowed. “What is happening? The devil still tormenting him?”

Castiel nodded miserably. “Yes, he is taunting him with Gabriel and tormenting him with how he killed him.”

Dean looked confused. “Gabriel? Why the dick with wings?”

Castiel hesitated. “I’m not sure it’s my place to tell you.”

Dean sighed. “Well, Sam ain’t gonna tell me himself if you can’t fix him. What you said means he’s gonna be like this until his candle blows out?”

Castiel nodded. “Yes. I’m sorry. This isn’t a problem I can make disappear. And you know that.” He paused. “But I may be able to shift it. Yeah. That would get Sam back on his feet.” Castiel steeled himself and walked up to Sam’s bed. “That’s for the best. I’ll be fine.”

“Wait. Cas, what are you thinking?” Dean had no idea what was going on. 

Castiel placed his palm on Sam’s forehead. “Sam. This may hurt. And if I can’t tell you again; I’m sorry I ever did this to you.”

A red light shone in Sam’s eyes and lit up light lightning across the palm and arm Castiel held against Sam’s head. 

“NOOO!” Sam screamed. “Don’t take him! Don’t take him away from me!” Sam sobbed. “Please… please just let me have him…” 

Castiel struggled, but no matter how he tried, he could not shift all of Sam’s pain. Sam held onto it so tightly, that he just could not manage it. Castiel was about to collapse by the bed, but was caught by Dean before he could hit the floor. 

“Cas! What happened?”

“It didn’t work.”

Dean gasped. “So he’s..?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, it didn’t work fully. I managed to shift some of his torments, but not all. But I think he might be able to sleep again.”

“Are you okay, Cas?”

Castiel nodded tiredly. “Yes, I feel tired but otherwise I seem to be fine.”

“Good.” Dean said and hugged him tightly.

…

“Gabriel?” Sam said with a slight smile when he saw who kept him company in his bed. 

Gabriel grinned widely. “Sammich! You finally fell asleep!” 

Sam nodded with a smile. “Yeah, I did.” He yawned. “Wanna sleep with me some more?” 

Gabriel smirked. “Oh, always Sammy. Always.”

…

Dean looked in disbelief as his brother spoke to thin air and then promptly fell asleep again.

“Is he still..?” 

Castiel nodded sadly. “Yes. I think he will see my brother until his dying day. And without Lucifer’s influence, I think he actually might enjoy it.”

“Enjoy it?” Dean echoed.

“Yes. Our brothers were romantically involved before Gabriel’s death.” 

Dean swore for a long while. But then he sighed. “Well, at least he’ll be alive. But I’ll look for a way to fix this. If I’m gonna have to bring back that dick with wings, then I’ll damn well do it.” He paused and looked at Castiel. “We’re gonna have to leave him here while we deal with Dick. Then we’re gonna fix this shit.” He paused. “Coming Cas?”

“Right behind you, Dean.”


End file.
